are you kidding me?

I somehow got sucked into watching the VMAs this year. I was going to quickly go through it, but stopped when Madonna was talking about Michael Jackson. Very heartfelt, and very appropriate tribute with her speaking and then Janet coming out to perform "Scream" after. I stayed tuned for a little bit to see Taylor Swift win Best Female Video, and you know what - I was ecstatic for her. In the past year I have grown to love her, as a person and as a musician. So when Kanye West made his way up on stage, took the mic from a beaming Taylor and declared flat out that another video should have won, I was flabbergasted.

In retrospect, the entire awards show set up is ridiculous - it doesn't matter in the long run, and we won't remember who won what a week from now. But I was overjoyed watching Taylor win - as someone who has grown up on a healthy diet of folk and country music, watching her cross over to the "mainstream" has been exciting, and watching her popularity grow has been nothing short of inspirational.

I really started listening to her when I was living in Sweden earlier in the year. I went through a rollercoaster of emotions, with ridiculous highs and incredible lows every day. The one constant I had through all of it was Taylor. Every song I felt like I related to, and it was true - because she was writing from a similar perspective, and pours her heart into her music. And what ever kind of mood I was in, I found myself listening to her and never tiring of songs I had heard so many times.

In May, I had the chance to see her at a sold out show in London and at a taping of a television show earlier in the day with my best friends and it was one of the greatest experiences of my life. To have my best friends with their arms around me and one of my favourite musicians in front of me singing songs I grew to love so much was amazing. And for a country artist performing in Europe, it was a rare sight to see so many in the crowd singing along (and dressed up in cowboy boots!). The love she gave the crowd was undeniable, she truly appreciated the support. She truly appreciates everything she's gotten, and there aren't a lot of entertainers you can honestly see this with.

So when this happened, an event so unimportant this is laughable, I actually could feel tears swell up in my eyes. Through everything she has done, and the hard work she has put into her music, to have someone take the spotlight and claim she's not worthy, in front of millions of people watching, must be so painful. We've all had someone tell us we're not worthy, that someone else is better than us, that we're flat out not good enough - so watching this immature, wretched display of disrespect really hit me, especially when it was someone I admire so much. I would have felt bad if it was one of the other nominees, even Katy Perry who I seem to despise - but this was Taylor. This hit me and the others that respect her, hard. But I'm sure we'll get a great song out of it, and she'll come back stronger than ever.

(And oh yeah, deleting every MB of Kanye songs I had on my computer helped a bit as well.)