christmas presents for the pets

there is no greater present than these cat ties above. pretty sure i need to order these in bulk.

early morning confusion

The posts about this being the last week of classes are freaking me out, I feel like I still have so much more to do and be done with in the next two or three weeks, I can't even think about the holidays. This might be due to the fact that we have absolutely no snow and for me, that's the real indicator that we're in the holiday season. What the hell is going on with the weather as of late?

All I know is that I need to spend today doing some serious work. I've woken up way too early though and I'm afraid I'll crash really early. Hello caffeine.

I'd like to be here right now, by the way:

This being the Tallinn (Estonia) Christmas Market. I'll be going to it next year as I have friends in Estonia that keep telling me I need to come. How is this even real? Why don't I live in the Tallinn Christmas Market year round? Pretty sure I'd be the happiest human ever if so.

Also, why am I watching Criminal Minds at 6:30 in the morning? End of the semester randomness.

judgment day

I always seem to build myself up for matters that aren't so vital to my life, decisions, actions, I'm about to make to possibly negative consequences. I have so much support from my friends in this issue I'm about to face and I know I just need to get it over with. I've got butterflies in my stomach and dialogue running through my mind, possible outcomes that I could face. Fingers crossed.

christmas is soon!

but I'm sure mine won't look like this...

i dream about society at night

NYS Senate, how could you?

Earlier today, the decision came in from Albany that gay marriage would not be allowed in the State of New York for the time being, effectively the decision becoming "dead" for a year. What gives, New York? I've been born and raised in New York, and grew up thinking that we were different from the parts of the country notorious for their conservatism and inability to move past "the scripture". But now we look just as hateful and close minded as those we continuously complained about. For me, the Senator making the decision for my district, seemingly IN MY NAME, is Kenneth LaValle, the man who our stadium is named after on campus. I couldn't be more disgusted in his decision to vote NO on this decision, and I hope those who feel strongly about this issue will join the movement on Facebook to rename our stadium. I personally cannot allow myself to go into a facility named for a human being who outright allows for blatant inequality. I am so ashamed of New York right now, and I hope this decision will change in the very near future. In the meantime, one of the supporters of the bill can be seen making the logical point as to why gay marriage should be allowed here:

the greatest guilty pleasure in life

is bridezillas! and karen is the best of all of them!



imagine being so delusional that you lived your life like this? incredible.

the mind's true liberation

I drove around for 20 minutes tonight thinking about my life & where I want it to go in the years coming up. I've realized I'm not scared about where it will go overall, but by the time I'm 30 for now. As my best friend, who I have known since i was 5 years old, told me on the phone tonight "you're cursed with having so many interests that it's hard to take one path" in simpler terms and it's true. A few weeks ago I thought I was destined to head down to nashville & work in country music, and now I feel like I'm being pulled towards working in musical theatre in some respect, whether it's backstage, onstage, or even as an assistant in the lavatory in a theatre on Broadway. This could be due to the fact that I saw the show Hair for the second time on wednesday night and felt even more connected to it than I did the first time I had the privilege of seeing it, but so it goes.

I can't pinpoint one path to follow right now. I'm scared to go to graduate school & study something that I'll eventually decide I hate, & I feel like I'll never know the truth of my heart. I'm envious of people who know, who just know what they want to do (like my dear friend I mentioned above, who is a dancer) but then again, I like having a chaotic web of different interests, it's made me into the person that I am, & I don't know where I'd be without some of these entangled components.

I think about the two main characters in Hair, Claude & Berger, two extremely different people who in many ways have the same mindsets I keep going back & forth between: Claude being conflicted between doing the logical & living the life that Berger wants him to desperately follow, whilst Berger looks to what will make his soul experience life to the fullest, freely. As Claude sings at the end of Act I, "Where Do I Go?" - I ask myself the same question.

a giant hersheys kiss?

kyiv at sunset

unreal!

past routine

my life consisted of walking along here almost daily in västerås. i miss it.

i'm getting closer to closure

although it's really difficult. i was engulfed by this issue for most of the year and now that i'm not living in the same country as this issue i'm starting to separate from the pain and heartbreak. i'm moving on. it was one of those "doomed from the beginning" scenarios, and i knew that, but i let myself suffer through it. oh well. we live and we learn. jag är färdig med honom och jag är bättre för det!

awarding terrible people

I'm appalled at the decision of Irina as the winner of this season of Project Runway on Thursday. Lifetime's bizarre editing of this season (the first with the network after it aired since season 1 on Bravo) gave the American public the idea that Irina was really a nasty, entitled bitch. Every episode featured cruel remarks directed at her other competitors in great numbers, and treatment we are taught since children not to inflict on others, Michael Kors, a designed who was a frequent judge on this season, even says to the remaining contestants during one episode that you have to be a good person to genuinely get anywhere. It seems that this eventually didn't matter, and Irina was awarded the winner of the season in front of the exceptionally talented Carol Hannah Whitfield, who, through turbulent challenges and disregard from her challengers, kept a level head and presented a kind face as she went through week by week, eventually showing a beautiful collection at Bryant Park (Irina's, in contrast, was drab and even presented stolen material for one of her shirts).

What are you trying to say, Lifetime? Clearly this is just a television show, but saying that it's okay to treat others like absolute dirt to achieve something is bloody ridiculous. Irina is a good designer but her ugly personality has really made me rethink what I think of her clothing, and I really hope that she suffers success because of this attitude she has presented.

stamford bridge patterns

22

today was my best friend's 22nd birthday. i baked a cake for her, i reminisced on birthdays past. the last birthday she celebrated was her 19th birthday. without her here anymore, i still feel it's necessary to celebrate and remember her. she deserves it. and i like to think she shows up to hang out a bit and join in the festivities.

how do you make nickelback tolerable?

by doing this:



god bless the world.

shapes & colours

my first sketch up video, it's terrible but it's a start. i took a file of the skrapan building in västerås, about 5 minutes from where i lived. doesn't look the same anymore now that i've thrown colours into the mix and skewed the corners.

still funny

money for 'nothing'

There's so much of a selection to browse through, that I decided to narrow down my grant searches to Swedish & Scandinavian related studies, something that I'm interested in following through with once I graduate. Here are three I found:

1. Bicentennial Swedish-American Exchange Fund
The Bicentennial Swedish-American Exchange Fund is a professional travel grant administered by the Consulate General of Sweden in New York in support of intensive research trips to Sweden of two to four weeks in length. Applicants should have well-developed projects within the fields of politics, public policy, economics, science, healthcare, education, media, or culture. The grant is specifically intended for professional enrichment and is not applicable to work related to academic degrees, programs, or conferences. (Grants up to 30,000 SEK) - http://www.swedenabroad.com/Page____18552.aspx

2. Awards for Study in Scandinavia
The ASF offers fellowships and grants to individuals to pursue research or study in one or more Scandinavian country for up to one year. Awards are made in all fields. Applicants must have a well-defined research or study project that makes a stay in Scandinavia essential. Applicants must be United States citizens or permanent residents. Applicants must have completed their undergraduate education by the start of their project in Scandinavia. Team projects are eligible, but each member must apply as an individual, submitting a separate, fully documented application. First priority will be given to applicants who have not previously received an ASF award. Only in exceptional cases will a third award be considered. (Grants up to $23,000) - http://www.amscan.org/study_scandinavia_details.html

3. SASS Swedish Travel Grant
The Society for the Advancement of Scandinavian Study (SASS) Swedish Travel Grant is an academic travel grant in support of study or research in Swedish literature, culture, or social sciences. ($1,000) - http://www.swedenabroad.com/pages/general____18552.asp

So, this is all quite interesting and I'll definitely keep this all in mind as I move into graduating and going towards my Graduate work...

brighton lights

the only place to be during the upcoming winter.