Thursday, December 10, 2009


Last but not least this stregnths test also told me that I am a relator...

Relator describes your attitude toward your relationships. In simple terms, the Relator theme pulls you toward people you already know. You do not necessarily shy away from meeting new people—in fact, you may have other themes that cause you to enjoy the thrill of turning strangers into friends—but you do derive a great deal of pleasure and strength from being around your close friends. You are comfortable with intimacy. Once the initial connection has been made, you deliberately encourage a deepening of the relationship. You want to understand their feelings, their goals, their fears, and their dreams; and you want them to understand yours. You know that this kind of closeness implies a certain amount of risk—you might be taken advantage of—but you are willing to accept that risk. For you a relationship has value only if it is genuine. And the only way to know that is to entrust yourself to the other person. The more you share with each other, the more you risk together. The more you risk together, the more each of you proves your caring is genuine. These are your steps toward real friendship, and you take them willingly.
Action Items
You can form close relationships with people, and you enjoy doing so.

You receive profound satisfaction from working hard with friends to accomplish an important goal.

You know many people, and you can relate with all kinds of people. But you also have a very small group of friends with whom you have incredibly deep relationships.

Some people may feel threatened or uncomfortable because they don’t have the close, intense personal relationships that you thrive on.

You tend to be at your best when you are part of a stable group of friends you can trust. Join a regular study group in your challenging classes so you can stay motivated to achieve.

If you are new on campus, get to know the people who live near you. Early relationships with them can benefit you in the long haul.

You don’t want to be close friends with everyone. You’re probably most comfortable around people who accept you for who you are. As you get to know people, listen for their talents and imagine how their ways of naturally thinking, feeling, and behaving could complement your own.

Learn as much as you can about the people with whom you want to relate. Your interest will be a catalyst for trusting relationships.

No matter how busy you are, take time for your friends. They are your fuel.

You’re probably more comfortable in informal environments. Smaller classes, and even smaller colleges, are likely to be the kind of environments where your talents will flourish.

You need time to get to know people before trusting them, but trusting only your close group could mean you miss out on the valuable input of those not in your group.

Create various lines of communication with friends in your classes, such as verbal, phone, and e-mail, and help each other when one of you has to miss a class.

Seek out advisors, counselors, and professors who demonstrate genuine interest in you as a person.

Seek out fellow students with whom you can play a mutual tutoring, learning assistance, and support role.

Form study groups for midterms and exams with close friends.

Discuss class lectures with friends.

Study with friends who have goals similar to yours.

To increase your comprehension of reading materials, share what you have learned with friends.

Share knowledge with others and build a support network.

Become a mentor and always have a mentor.

Get to know professors who take an interest in you. Their involvement in your college experience will create a sense of belonging and stimulate your intellectual development as well as your academic achievement.

Develop a college lifestyle through which you share your academic progress and performance with people who care about you, both inside and outside the college environment.

Do your best to meet the professors who teach the classes you are considering.

Choose classes that friends are taking. Your relationships with them will heighten your engagement in the classes.

Select classes that encourage friendships and belonging.

Become involved in campus organizations that foster friendships.

Join organizations that your friends and you have agreed upon.

Consider community and humanitarian work that you can rally your close friends to be a part of too.

Talk to your mentors about the career planning process. You will value their wisdom and expertise as you make decisions.

Talk to your trusted circle of friends about how they see you. Don’t ask them what career they think you should choose; instead, ask them to help you see your greatest talents.

Careers in which in-depth, meaningful relationships are valued are likely to be most rewarding to you.

Workplaces in which friendships are encouraged, where you can continuously learn about your clients and associates, likely will enable your Relator talents to flourish.

Stable work environments where you can work with people you trust but also develop multiple levels of relationships probably will bring out your best.

Interview counselors, teachers, school administrators, mediators, human resource directors, and others who help people as part of their work. Ask them about the relationships they develop and what is most rewarding about their jobs.

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