Selfish

I was completely acting out of selfishness last night and it is all my fault that my friend is disappointed in me and he has every right to be..i wasnt getting my way so i acted out until i had it my way. i was way out of line and my anger and rage took over me. it was also 4 in the morning and i had a presentation in less than 5 hours and all i wanted to do was sleep and wake up early to go over speaking points and be ready for the presentation. i dont think that was a lot to ask for...i dont know anymore..you think you know someone and everything is going great and then there is that one day and you didnt even see it coming but it changes your life and perspective of it dramatically...is it that people change or have they always been like that all along but you just overlooked it because it was sugarcoated with something else...has relationships and friendships all been a lie..you end up digging yourself in a whole and losing control of reality and creating all these different senarios and you do not know what to believe any more...

in conclusion i was selfish and admitted and apologized but now i am at a stalemate because there is nothing else i can do to change his mind and it so upsetting that one incident can change everything forever